OPTION OR PRIORITY???

Ola!!! It's been a minute...there should be an award for the most patient readers..YOU!!!...lol Anyway I have missed you all dearly and I hope the feeling is mutual given the silent treatment I gave you all. So, I have so much to write about and so much to be thankful about so I hope you will relate with today's topic, Option or Priority. You know my love for bashing myself before coming to you so let me give you my piece of mind.You see the main reason I have not been blogging is because I had totally treated this as an option and everything else, no matter how small became an amplified priority e.g making my nails (God help me fend off this obsession!!)
So I recently evaluated my life choices and realized my priorities were all over the place just like most of yours are, and because I have kinda finished school now, I started overthinking about what I am supposed to be doing and where I expect to be in the next eeeerrrmmmm...5 years? See we all have those relatives who push you too hard and make your life seem like it should be steering a certain way and most of the time, that way doesn't quite sit right with you.
Perfect example is the Kenyan notion that you finish your degree, start working then you can consider masters later on. I do not know about you but I think we all have our strengths and weaknesses and when it comes to choosing the right order of how to live my life, I base them on what I know about myself. I remember a few years back I was utterly discouraged from taking maximum hours in school since apparently those who did so, got really messed up GPA's but since I knew that I could handle the heat, I got my shit together prioritized my schoolwork and eventually my social life suffered dearly. So where am I driving at? The fact that someone else can't do it does automatically mean you can't and to make stuff that matters priorities, tou have to know and identify what matters dearies!  I'll refer to this on my subsequent blogs but now, it's time to dig in to the fun part of this conversation; relationships!!!
A friend of mine recently got back into the dating pool and got a really amazing guy.. (of the appropriate age...sio sponsor! lol)　Like he would take her on romantic dates, watch the sun setting on Ngong Hills, text regularly just to check on her and even chill with her friends from time to time making a great impression...hell I even approved! Then 'akaingia box' and it all changed. He was suddenly always too busy. I know you feel me...So at first I chose to be the devil's advocate and say that maybe a new project just came by but it was too coincidental! The story is still being written so i'mma leave that one hanging for now. (be sure I will update you soon! **wink**)
I know we are all different and we manage our time differently but guess what? We all have the same 24 hours! Whether you are in Japan, New Zealand, North Pole...it remains constant. So that excuse for 'I don't have time...I am too busy...blah blah blah..' is a whole load of crap! Think about it...did this person lease out 8 of his hours to someone else and only remained with 16 hours? Oh please! Sadly, most of the perpetrators are dudes and you know that you can take 90 minutes out of your schedule and watch a football match (I know you will argue that you might win a bet to take her out with but chances are...you won't..) but you can't spare 2 minutes to ask her how her day was?
Can we stop treating people like options for crying out loud! No one is ever busy it's all about priorities. For a relationship to grow, both parties have to invest their TIME and energy and sacrifices will ultimately be made. I know the ladies will kill me for selling out this secret but I need to let the guys know that it takes two to tango. Girls are the worst mind players so they can make a guy feel like he is the only one in their minds but newsflash!! while you are busy ignoring her trying to apply that proverb you were taught in class 5 'absence makes the heart grow fonder', The joke is on you! She has a list of like three other guys she can text with the assurance of a reply and she already archived your silly ass! You say women are bad but who just triggered that girl in the above situation to snap?
Don't be an option to anybody loves...if they ain't making you their priority, then walk away the right person is out there and is dying to make you their priority so do not settle for less just because you think they will come around... Let me quote Ciara on this one..."If that boy don't love you by now...he will never ever love you." So quit wasting your time and lowering your pride for someone who will never do the same for you!
I think I will stop there for today and next week I will be talking about THE ART OF MULTITASKING in relation to dating and relationships as I give you my two cents about the difference between the former and the latter. I love you my loyals!!(and no I did not just shrub)
***kisses****

COMFORT ZONE!

Hello sweethearts...so I decided to be blogging only when I have something important to say and who knew it would be this soon before my next post! Let me start with a big shout out to my incredible friend who got his blogging inspiration from here and boy does he have a lot to say! Check his blog out and have a few laughs... https://dylansaintking.wordpress.com/2016/03/09/welcome-to-the-madhouse/ I finally let go of my pink fetish and trust me changing this blog's appearance was quite the challenge because I saw no serious fault in it which brings me to today's topic, COMFORT ZONES!
I won't be too harsh since I am a victim of leaning toward my comfort zones a bit too much. I know you think you are innocent...Think again love...GUILTY!!! Example time! You have been in an unhappy relationship for quite some time but since you have never been single you put up with all that shit. It applies for also you who have been single forever just playing it safe with that silly excuse 'I am not ready for a commitment blah blah blah...' Sorry to burst your bubble booboo, you are what we call a wimp! Yeah I said it! Everybody enjoys the feeling of love so here I am,( inexperienced as I am) telling you to snap back to reality and realize that you ain't immortal and that comfort zone phase is not going to make you grow in all the aspects of your life.
I was chatting with a couple of beautiful ladies today and they opened up to me that due to the numerous heartbreaks they have had, when they are in a relationship, they do not put their all. Their exact words were; 'One foot in, and the other waaay out!' At first it was fun to giggle and agree with them and then I realized that that is exactly how relationships end within a short time. The Betty Kyalo story popped in my head immediately after that convo. Oh quick recap; rumor has it that the couple is calling it quits due to infidelity on Okari's side. I am a journalist so I have to update my readers with the latest grapevine but then again, I ain't sure of how true that is. However, why they came into my head is because cheating does not begin after marriage and for a couple that dated for 6 plus years, she must have picked up on some of the signs of cheating but chose to ignore because hey, social media is commending their relationship and to be honest she felt comfortable with all the silent jeers vouching for them. Anyway, since I am a lover of love, I do hope the rumors are very untrue!
So back to the one foot in vibe, in my opinion I think this encourages cheating and short-term relationships. Why? simply because it's like you have a backup plan! He pisses you off and you don't talk for a week, you are okay because plan B is flirting with you and telling you all the sweet stuff you want to hear! trust me, you are not doing your heart any favor! Ever heard of the phrase 'The heart wants what it wants?' It acts like it has a mind of its own. I don't know how many will relate; you focus so hard on forgetting the guy/girl who hurt you by hooking up with other people (hooking up in this case means first base dating-don't get it twisted loves) but all you can think about is the person that hurts you or the person who doesn't like you as much. it's the madness of the heart trust me. It sucks but it eventually goes, not as fast as you may want it to go but it will go. My sweet people, don't be with someone because you pity the fact that you are their comfort zone...do them a favor and redirect them to this blog. It will be more subtle and will save you some explaining! (Marketing skills on fleek)  Here is a song that really encourages me to take risks hope it has the same effect to you as well! Oh! And do take in the inspirational quotes!

Well, I guess it's time for me to sign off and I really value your opinion on the few changes up in here so feel free to comment and give me a few pointers! All in all, I know it is really hard to get out of your comfort zone and it's okay to be scared from time to time because it simply means that you are about to do something really brave so go ahead and be brave love and always remember that if something doesn't challenge your thoughts, actions and heart, it doesn't build you at all! PS:  Till next post...Kisses***

HARSH REALITY

My people! First Post of the year!! Wohooo! You know why I love you so much? Because you are the most super understanding readers and the fact that most of you have bashed me on my inconsistency, tells me that you are actually interested in my posts so thank you all!! So today, let me shake things up a little and talk about the extreme partying nature instilled in our generation...couldn't have picked a better time  than this. Why you may ask? Project X is just days away and there is a great debate on whether the expose that has been seen in our TV screens will hinder it from happening. Well sadly, it will still happen and the funny thing is that the event has been happening for a couple of years now. I do not want to dwell on it so much but that was the main trigger for this post.
The problem with our generation is that we are short-term thinkers. Yeah, I said it. We just think about what will benefit us now some sort of temporary thrill not thinking of the future repercussions. What do I mean? You go to University, get to a clique and adapt to whatever the clique does without question. Are already visualizing someone in such a situation? If not, let's narrow the search some more; girl meets boy-boy is into some bad habits-girl tolerates-girl becomes a part of the bad habit. In these two examples there is clearly no thought behind how one's future can be tainted with just one wrong move.

Back to the Project X story, the girls in that poster did not think beyond posing and looking sexy in a photo. They did not think that the police would actually be tracking them down, did they? Now what they are facing is what I call the harsh reality! You never see it coming. It is all fun and games until s**t hits the roof! How many selfies have you uploaded that you might be so embarassed to show your kids in future? A ton,huh? well, you may not have uploaded them yourself but you are tagged in them (you do know that is still visible to the public nowadays, right?) Oh! I have a quick question, those photographers that take pictures in clubs and post them on FB later, ever wondered what extent of ratchet pictures they have in store for a rainy day? Most of us may not have been victims of blackmail yet but why put yourself in such a compromising position in the first place?
The other problem with our generation is the 'me factor' where everything is all about YOU as a person and you do not care about implicating others as long as YOU are happy. I have read endless articles saying that only-children have a tendency to be selfish and self-centered but guess what? Our generation as a whole is proving that theory wrong day in day out because we are all selfish in our own right. When you are hurt by your boyfriend/girlfriend for example what is the first thing you do? You reproach them with so much anger and evidence of their faults forgetting that you are also not the saint you claim to be. When you are out with your friends and you get too drunk to the point you are hospitalized with alcohol poisoning, do you think the person in that same ward suffering from a chronic disease wants to be there listening to the stories of how you got wasted? I hope you are seeing the bigger picture now. That's harsh reality number two; it's not all about you and it will never be!
 Okay now it's time to tone down and drive my point home. I am not saying that you should stop drinking or partying but if you can trust me, it's for the better. All I am saying is that this is the time to put your best foot forward and hustle like never before. I want you to reason like this: When you are getting your little internship salary and draining it on booze and parting what is the CEO of that company doing with his millions of dollars? When the CEO is getting up at 4:00am, are you the guy being chased from the club to go sleep at that time? You and I are still the brains and the brawn of this nation so don't misplace your priorities.  I don't know about you but I would rather hustle now in my twenties so that when I am in my thirties, I am my own boss sipping on expensive tastes such as Henri IV Dudognon Heritage Cognac and Tequila Ley that won't land me on a ditch somewhere. You should definitely think big but don't forget to think far and wide loves because when you think short term, harsh reality will definitely catch up and hit you hard!
Kisses***
 

 

OWN YOUR FUN!!

HEEEEEYYYY!!! I know it's been forever people but I'm here and man do I have a looot to say this time round. First things first the video above is the long-awaited video that was to solidify the LIFE MANUAL Part 2 post so you better watch it and reflect upon it my loves. So today can I talk about vacations?? Hahaha....why am I even asking? Well, I tend to believe that we have made vacations a bit too mainstream nowadays. Before you get upset and close this page listen...I am not saying going to the beach is boring! I am being blunt and saying that the vacation plots we plan in this day and age have become sort of a scheduled 'Must Do' on any itinerary.

Why shouldn't this be the case? Simple, the main objective of a vacation is to relax and take a couple of chill pills; basically not to stress over stuff. Just because our parents created an illusion that a vacation has to be beside the beach doesn't necessarily mean that will also work as our sweet escape, c'mon, we are more creative than that yeah?  Let me use my case for example, I do not mind coast but I honestly find the heat there quite disturbing and not relaxing. That's just me. If I was asked for a vacation plan, Rift Valley and its environs will do for me and of course the house (Cheapest escape)lol! Going on holiday does not have to be an added stress on your finances nowadays. Think about it, some wise guy once said that you should live everyday as a vacation so that you can savor every moment and I agree.

Take a look at this family for example, they are exhausted because of a delayed flight to their destination. What do you think they would rather be doing? Sad part is that we as humans have chosen to focus on where we are going other than embracing even the journey to the final destination. At this point I would like to commend all my readers who are road trip lovers! That's the way to go! But don't sleep through it all, you are missing the little elements that build up any holiday memory.

My close pal recently pointed out that his idea of a vacation is relaxing on a hammock and since that is an activity that can be done even at one's backyard, I advised him to buy one and use it from time to time instead of waiting for the festive season to enjoy this past time activity.

There are 365 days in a year people why would you want to enjoy only 7 days out of that? This post is for people like me who enjoy relenting at the comfort of their beds binge watching all the continuing series and also for all those who enjoy destination holidays as well. The world has different people with different preferences. Just because your friend loves going hiking doesn't mean that you will also enjoy that as a relaxing activity, catch my drift? So do not just sit there and wait for the fun to come to you, create the fun and own it!

I hope you get the sense of this post and if you are on vacation as you read this post, trust me that vacation just became better because now you will value those little hiccups you come across even more!! If you are planning a vacation, don't overthink it sweetheart, it's the little things in life that count. Hugs and Kisses my dolls!! I told you I had a lot to say. lol. Keep your eyes peeled for more innovative and thought-provoking posts from yours truly... I love y'all!!!

LIFE MANUAL PART 2

This post is long overdue and I know people will kill me if I go more than a month without blogging about the AI's. I am so sorry but you know sometimes we end up getting lost in this jungle called life. Then again I am a believer in taking a break from this digital world from time to time. By the end of this post I hope you will be fully convinced on joining the crew. Spoiler alert: It might be as long as Bikozulu's blog posts. Needless to say, I am about to bash myself and my friends( sorry unfocused students lol) because our recent fetish on snapchatting is the best case study for what AI's have done to us. So it is in this light that I found the relevance of having Life Manual Part 2 finally! I know Arnold I have answered your prayers....Let's get started!!
Apparently, people are calling me a snapchat addict and like any normal addict...I keep denying. A few weeks back I had a reality check where I figured out that most of us have little or no real life connections. What do I mean? Quick question... When was the last time you just met someone new for the first time face to face and had a one-on-one interaction with this person? If it's recent....stop reading this post...it ain't for you!! But if you are like me who has millions of friends on FB, thousands of points on snapchat and so many followers on Twitter and Instagram....keep reading...
Well don't kill me for saying this but we have based our whole lives-friendships, relationships, business deals... name it...on Social Media sites, a result of AI's. If you are still waiting for robots to take over the world in 2050, wake up!! They are already taking over... The minute you are in a bus headed somewhere and you are sitted alongside a 'stranger', (why the quotes??because most probably he/she might be your follower on IG) you just put your earphones...keep yourself busy with candy crush until you see a battery low warning. I dont know if you are seeing this but...what stops you from continuing to play games or listen to music...is your AI!!
A few weeks ago, my friends and I went for lunch and as usual while waiting for the food we had ordered, we were all engrossed on our phones while chatting casually about life. Well I ran out of people to chat with on whatsapp and my battery was low and felt like I was surrounded by robots when I put my phone down. So I blurted out....
"Let's put our phones down and the first one to touch his/her phone pays the entire bill!" 
Those phones were automatically slammed down and the conversation flowed amazingly. It was like our brains had been opened because the rate the ideas were popping up, we could have warmed up to the infamous Shark Tank investors.
So what am I driving at? We miss so many opportunities when we look down at our phones and tablets. When you stare at the screens of your computers and laptops displaying social media sites ask yourself what you stand to gain socially... What is love nowadays? Texts all through saying the same old things till it becomes a cliche.
*****************************************
"Morning babe"
"Morning..."
"How was your night?"
"All's good...let's talk later. I have some work to do."
"Cool"
*************six hours later**************
"Hey how was your day?"
"It was cool...am really tired...can we talk tomorrow."
" Okay. Goodnight."
*****************************************
I don't know about you but I am a hopeless romantic. Am old school to some extent. Random sweet love quotes and love poems every now and then are part of what love should encompass. But nooo these AI's have ruined it all. Nobody writes love letters anymore...nobody concentrates on calligraphy... (sweet high school memories)
And this is why our generation has become a generation of lazy lovers. You want to send a message to your girl, you go copy paste some love poem written by some poet from the 19th century with all the wierd English words and it's a wrap,huh?
Why don't you sit down and draft a letter to your loved one. Take notes from the past. As much as it may seem shady, it will be much appreciated by the significant other. Even if your handwriting sucks, the effort is what counts (consolation to y'all).
Whoa! Let me conclude loves...that was a lot of content I had for you all. I think a YouTube channel is needed for my digressions but that's a story for another day. For now, when you go for that evening walk, leave your phone at home and embrace the beauty of the world. Appreciate the little priceless things and go out and meet new people. There is a video I will attach in my next post that emphasizes more on the power social media has over our social lives. As for now let me wish you a lovely weekend filled more with laughter sounds than keypad tones. **kisses

FINE WINE

Okay...I have missed you guys so much. Y'all are making me an addict of digressing on this blog but oh well I ain't complaining. Today I want us to talk about those little moments we all have dishing out advice to people around you. Let's be real, as much as we avoid seeking advice, we have been on both extreme ends...the 'doctor' and the 'patient'. So why call this post fine wine? Well because I believe that with time, our advice becomes better just like fine wine...don't you think?
According to me there are three types of 'advice givers'.
Category #1: The Ish-Ish.
You know them as those guys who are always unsure of what they say to you when you are in a dilemma. At the end of it all they make you feel like there is absolutely no difference between you shutting up and talking to him/her about it. You know someone in this category, huh?
Category #2: The IDK.
Those who finish their advice with the words "I don't know though" (i dont know about you but I am the villain in this category). Well most of the people in this category (I included) do this because they don't want you to come back saying they ruined your life so they keep it safe.
Category #3: The Hardcore Voice.
These are those people who tell it as it is. All that painful truth one has been avoiding is put out in the advice. They have the ultimate voice of reason and may keep your mind reeling on and on afterwards. I guess we all step into this one once in a while. But the problem with these people is that more often than not  they do not take their own advice. 

So now that I have told you the categories of advisers, let's discuss a little before I conclude. How many times do you actually take your own advice? Not so often huh? Worry not you are not alone. In my opinion I think all these people should embrace all those traits and live on with it because every fine wine in the world has been created with grapes from different vineyards. In the same way, our diversity in our intellect builds us to be greater people. So what am I saying? There are some dilemmas that just need you to shut up about it when giving advice and there are those that call onto your inner psychologist and you have to tell it as it is. I know this is a blog that talks about change but there are some things that should just be taken as they are. However, people should now start dishing out advice that they would take in themselves. We have been in this game too long so let's  value our own lil pieces of advice. Remember that all we do as individuals should propel us further so people like I on the IDK category are here for a reason so, don't shun us away we will graduate to the next level in no time...yeah? That's all I had for today but before I go, a lil shoutout to those who have been pushing me to keep on blogging is long overdue. Hope and Naj Geraurahia!! lol Sean I see you..lol Arnold Life Manual part 2 is coming next week no worries, Miriam darling...I will be more consistent and my dearest cousins the love has been felt...we are all conquering this world one day at a time do not be left behind!! **kisses**

CELEBRATE LIFE!!!

So of late there have been so many celebrations in Kenya because of two reasons: June babies (who rock btw) are too many and it's graduation season (congrats to all graduates). It is in the admist of all these festivities that most people go broke and forget about their daily obligations. I was to post this last week on my birthday  but I also fell victim to the distractions that come along with the celebratory mood.  It is when I realized life is too short to just wait for such moments to celebrate.
This post just aims at triggering that inner daredevil in you to start celebrating life every single day and not just to wait for some event to throw a party because guess what...your life is a party!!! So live it like one.
How many people do you know keep saying that they thank God for a new day but do not live like they are actually grateful for it? Think about it this way most of you reading this post have already bunked 20 years of your life....so give or take we have about 50 more years to live. If you celebrate every weekend that means you have 2,500 more weekends to go but if you celebrate everyday...You have 18,250 more days....need i say more?
You see that nice pair of heels that you have been eyeing at the store but you keep postponing when you will buy it? Go buy it nowww!! Why do you have to be sitted at a couch that you hate so much for the next ten years when you can sell it and buy the one of your choice? Nobody is assured of tomorrow so if you can do something today...do it!!!
Without a doubt, life can be boring and routine makes it even worse for most of us...so what am I saying? Do not try and be the one who lives through each WEEK day just looking foward to  the weekend...Let us eradicate that mentality of; oooh Mondays are boring...and so on...I do not have to keep up with the phrase live every moment like it's your last...cliche but it's true...
Only God knows your exit plan. Do you want it to find you sulking at your office desk counting down the hours to Friday? Celebrate life loves!! Life is a gift...savour every single moment as if it was your last. That's all for today!! Hope you enjoyed the read. Before i forget...a biiig thankyou to all those who wished me a great birthday...Am still accepting belated gifts...(all year-long)**kisses