OPTION OR PRIORITY???

Ola!!! It's been a minute...there should be an award for the most patient readers..YOU!!!...lol Anyway I have missed you all dearly and I hope the feeling is mutual given the silent treatment I gave you all. So, I have so much to write about and so much to be thankful about so I hope you will relate with today's topic, Option or Priority. You know my love for bashing myself before coming to you so let me give you my piece of mind.You see the main reason I have not been blogging is because I had totally treated this as an option and everything else, no matter how small became an amplified priority e.g making my nails (God help me fend off this obsession!!)
So I recently evaluated my life choices and realized my priorities were all over the place just like most of yours are, and because I have kinda finished school now, I started overthinking about what I am supposed to be doing and where I expect to be in the next eeeerrrmmmm...5 years? See we all have those relatives who push you too hard and make your life seem like it should be steering a certain way and most of the time, that way doesn't quite sit right with you.
Perfect example is the Kenyan notion that you finish your degree, start working then you can consider masters later on. I do not know about you but I think we all have our strengths and weaknesses and when it comes to choosing the right order of how to live my life, I base them on what I know about myself. I remember a few years back I was utterly discouraged from taking maximum hours in school since apparently those who did so, got really messed up GPA's but since I knew that I could handle the heat, I got my shit together prioritized my schoolwork and eventually my social life suffered dearly. So where am I driving at? The fact that someone else can't do it does automatically mean you can't and to make stuff that matters priorities, tou have to know and identify what matters dearies!  I'll refer to this on my subsequent blogs but now, it's time to dig in to the fun part of this conversation; relationships!!!
A friend of mine recently got back into the dating pool and got a really amazing guy.. (of the appropriate age...sio sponsor! lol)　Like he would take her on romantic dates, watch the sun setting on Ngong Hills, text regularly just to check on her and even chill with her friends from time to time making a great impression...hell I even approved! Then 'akaingia box' and it all changed. He was suddenly always too busy. I know you feel me...So at first I chose to be the devil's advocate and say that maybe a new project just came by but it was too coincidental! The story is still being written so i'mma leave that one hanging for now. (be sure I will update you soon! **wink**)
I know we are all different and we manage our time differently but guess what? We all have the same 24 hours! Whether you are in Japan, New Zealand, North Pole...it remains constant. So that excuse for 'I don't have time...I am too busy...blah blah blah..' is a whole load of crap! Think about it...did this person lease out 8 of his hours to someone else and only remained with 16 hours? Oh please! Sadly, most of the perpetrators are dudes and you know that you can take 90 minutes out of your schedule and watch a football match (I know you will argue that you might win a bet to take her out with but chances are...you won't..) but you can't spare 2 minutes to ask her how her day was?
Can we stop treating people like options for crying out loud! No one is ever busy it's all about priorities. For a relationship to grow, both parties have to invest their TIME and energy and sacrifices will ultimately be made. I know the ladies will kill me for selling out this secret but I need to let the guys know that it takes two to tango. Girls are the worst mind players so they can make a guy feel like he is the only one in their minds but newsflash!! while you are busy ignoring her trying to apply that proverb you were taught in class 5 'absence makes the heart grow fonder', The joke is on you! She has a list of like three other guys she can text with the assurance of a reply and she already archived your silly ass! You say women are bad but who just triggered that girl in the above situation to snap?
Don't be an option to anybody loves...if they ain't making you their priority, then walk away the right person is out there and is dying to make you their priority so do not settle for less just because you think they will come around... Let me quote Ciara on this one..."If that boy don't love you by now...he will never ever love you." So quit wasting your time and lowering your pride for someone who will never do the same for you!
I think I will stop there for today and next week I will be talking about THE ART OF MULTITASKING in relation to dating and relationships as I give you my two cents about the difference between the former and the latter. I love you my loyals!!(and no I did not just shrub)
***kisses****

COMFORT ZONE!

Hello sweethearts...so I decided to be blogging only when I have something important to say and who knew it would be this soon before my next post! Let me start with a big shout out to my incredible friend who got his blogging inspiration from here and boy does he have a lot to say! Check his blog out and have a few laughs... https://dylansaintking.wordpress.com/2016/03/09/welcome-to-the-madhouse/ I finally let go of my pink fetish and trust me changing this blog's appearance was quite the challenge because I saw no serious fault in it which brings me to today's topic, COMFORT ZONES!
I won't be too harsh since I am a victim of leaning toward my comfort zones a bit too much. I know you think you are innocent...Think again love...GUILTY!!! Example time! You have been in an unhappy relationship for quite some time but since you have never been single you put up with all that shit. It applies for also you who have been single forever just playing it safe with that silly excuse 'I am not ready for a commitment blah blah blah...' Sorry to burst your bubble booboo, you are what we call a wimp! Yeah I said it! Everybody enjoys the feeling of love so here I am,( inexperienced as I am) telling you to snap back to reality and realize that you ain't immortal and that comfort zone phase is not going to make you grow in all the aspects of your life.
I was chatting with a couple of beautiful ladies today and they opened up to me that due to the numerous heartbreaks they have had, when they are in a relationship, they do not put their all. Their exact words were; 'One foot in, and the other waaay out!' At first it was fun to giggle and agree with them and then I realized that that is exactly how relationships end within a short time. The Betty Kyalo story popped in my head immediately after that convo. Oh quick recap; rumor has it that the couple is calling it quits due to infidelity on Okari's side. I am a journalist so I have to update my readers with the latest grapevine but then again, I ain't sure of how true that is. However, why they came into my head is because cheating does not begin after marriage and for a couple that dated for 6 plus years, she must have picked up on some of the signs of cheating but chose to ignore because hey, social media is commending their relationship and to be honest she felt comfortable with all the silent jeers vouching for them. Anyway, since I am a lover of love, I do hope the rumors are very untrue!
So back to the one foot in vibe, in my opinion I think this encourages cheating and short-term relationships. Why? simply because it's like you have a backup plan! He pisses you off and you don't talk for a week, you are okay because plan B is flirting with you and telling you all the sweet stuff you want to hear! trust me, you are not doing your heart any favor! Ever heard of the phrase 'The heart wants what it wants?' It acts like it has a mind of its own. I don't know how many will relate; you focus so hard on forgetting the guy/girl who hurt you by hooking up with other people (hooking up in this case means first base dating-don't get it twisted loves) but all you can think about is the person that hurts you or the person who doesn't like you as much. it's the madness of the heart trust me. It sucks but it eventually goes, not as fast as you may want it to go but it will go. My sweet people, don't be with someone because you pity the fact that you are their comfort zone...do them a favor and redirect them to this blog. It will be more subtle and will save you some explaining! (Marketing skills on fleek)  Here is a song that really encourages me to take risks hope it has the same effect to you as well! Oh! And do take in the inspirational quotes!

Well, I guess it's time for me to sign off and I really value your opinion on the few changes up in here so feel free to comment and give me a few pointers! All in all, I know it is really hard to get out of your comfort zone and it's okay to be scared from time to time because it simply means that you are about to do something really brave so go ahead and be brave love and always remember that if something doesn't challenge your thoughts, actions and heart, it doesn't build you at all! PS:  Till next post...Kisses***

HARSH REALITY

My people! First Post of the year!! Wohooo! You know why I love you so much? Because you are the most super understanding readers and the fact that most of you have bashed me on my inconsistency, tells me that you are actually interested in my posts so thank you all!! So today, let me shake things up a little and talk about the extreme partying nature instilled in our generation...couldn't have picked a better time  than this. Why you may ask? Project X is just days away and there is a great debate on whether the expose that has been seen in our TV screens will hinder it from happening. Well sadly, it will still happen and the funny thing is that the event has been happening for a couple of years now. I do not want to dwell on it so much but that was the main trigger for this post.
The problem with our generation is that we are short-term thinkers. Yeah, I said it. We just think about what will benefit us now some sort of temporary thrill not thinking of the future repercussions. What do I mean? You go to University, get to a clique and adapt to whatever the clique does without question. Are already visualizing someone in such a situation? If not, let's narrow the search some more; girl meets boy-boy is into some bad habits-girl tolerates-girl becomes a part of the bad habit. In these two examples there is clearly no thought behind how one's future can be tainted with just one wrong move.

Back to the Project X story, the girls in that poster did not think beyond posing and looking sexy in a photo. They did not think that the police would actually be tracking them down, did they? Now what they are facing is what I call the harsh reality! You never see it coming. It is all fun and games until s**t hits the roof! How many selfies have you uploaded that you might be so embarassed to show your kids in future? A ton,huh? well, you may not have uploaded them yourself but you are tagged in them (you do know that is still visible to the public nowadays, right?) Oh! I have a quick question, those photographers that take pictures in clubs and post them on FB later, ever wondered what extent of ratchet pictures they have in store for a rainy day? Most of us may not have been victims of blackmail yet but why put yourself in such a compromising position in the first place?
The other problem with our generation is the 'me factor' where everything is all about YOU as a person and you do not care about implicating others as long as YOU are happy. I have read endless articles saying that only-children have a tendency to be selfish and self-centered but guess what? Our generation as a whole is proving that theory wrong day in day out because we are all selfish in our own right. When you are hurt by your boyfriend/girlfriend for example what is the first thing you do? You reproach them with so much anger and evidence of their faults forgetting that you are also not the saint you claim to be. When you are out with your friends and you get too drunk to the point you are hospitalized with alcohol poisoning, do you think the person in that same ward suffering from a chronic disease wants to be there listening to the stories of how you got wasted? I hope you are seeing the bigger picture now. That's harsh reality number two; it's not all about you and it will never be!
 Okay now it's time to tone down and drive my point home. I am not saying that you should stop drinking or partying but if you can trust me, it's for the better. All I am saying is that this is the time to put your best foot forward and hustle like never before. I want you to reason like this: When you are getting your little internship salary and draining it on booze and parting what is the CEO of that company doing with his millions of dollars? When the CEO is getting up at 4:00am, are you the guy being chased from the club to go sleep at that time? You and I are still the brains and the brawn of this nation so don't misplace your priorities.  I don't know about you but I would rather hustle now in my twenties so that when I am in my thirties, I am my own boss sipping on expensive tastes such as Henri IV Dudognon Heritage Cognac and Tequila Ley that won't land me on a ditch somewhere. You should definitely think big but don't forget to think far and wide loves because when you think short term, harsh reality will definitely catch up and hit you hard!
Kisses***